THE LOOGIE

I hate to write this story really I do- but it has to be written down so I never forget it and so you will never take a big swig of hot chocolate and burn your mouth again- trust me, it’s for your own good!

I have already told you how wonderful, beautiful and amazing Savannah Georgia is. I have already told you how we loved the shopping, drooled at the store windows, stood in awe at the architecture, and relished in southern delights. It was pure instant love.

We wandered the streets of the most perfect city to find treasure after treasure hidden behind every glass door. We looked longingly at every beautiful wreath adorning each historic home. We found candle scents to die for, ornaments that would make you slap your Christmas tree and linens that could make you NEVER get out of bed!

We were enjoying the sights, sounds, and eye candy of the city but we were cold and sore from all the walking the first day. We just needed a minute to sit and drink hot chocolate and warm up a bit. We looked around the city block and there was a little diner staring back at us, inviting us in. We hesitated a bit but decided to throw caution to the wind and just give it a try. As we entered I’m not even going to tell you about the cashier. We needed a bathroom and something warm to hit the spot. We got seated and ordered hot chocolate. The waitress was very disappointed that we did not order food- I think she feared for her tip. I could just see her adding up 20 percent of 2 dollars… she was not happy. Bat Girl and I both felt a little pressured to order food as we sat there sipping our hot chocolates. We were paroozing the menu when Bat Girl started asking questions about my hot chocolate and this is where the story and morning go bad.

She says to me in a very weak and quiet voice; “does your hot chocolate have (long word searching pause)… chunks in it”?

“CHUNKS? I’m not really sure what to say at this point. “Bat Girl, I doubt that your hot chocolate has actual chunks, I’m sure it’s coagulation of hot chocolate mix in the hot chocolate dispenser, mine has those little pieces too”. I take another sip of mine.

“Okay, well does yours look like this?” and she pulls out a little hot chocolate chunk and spreads it across her napkin with her finger.

I look at it ignoring the clear fact that it really does not look good. I am in total denial here and I like being in total denial. I do total denial about many things, for example I like total denial when it comes to me having allergies, not driving and talking on the phone, stupidly placed stop signs, I could go on and on. If I don’t want to believe something I chose total 100 percent denial. It works, try it.

She is looking worried and a little pale by now and says “well it’s just that I think mine’s a little green. Can you see that it’s a little green”? She realizes that I am playing the denial card and she really needs me to admit that there may be a really serious green problem in HER hot chocolate. I really very seriously DO NOT want to come to terms with the fact that unfortunately we are both drinking hot chocolate, more than likely from the same machine.

I take a closer look at the napkin and while I’m inspecting it she is drudging through her hot chocolate and pulling more small things out and then she hit the MOTHER LOAD!

As my eyes roll upward to meet hers, I can see that we have a real serious problem here by the look on her face. She has entered sheer panic mode and is trying to make me look into her spoon. I reluctantly look and lo and behold there it is- the grossest thing that I have ever seen in hot chocolate. I think the picture speaks for itself.

Here’s the end of the story and the real honest to goodness picture of it above.

· We propped the spoon with the mystery loogie looking blob in it.
· Took a picture
· Paid the strange cashier
· Ran for our lives while gagging
· After feeling sick we finally laughed
· Later we had Starbucks, but I had coffee instead of hot chocolate
· I’m still not sure I can ever drink hot chocolate again

Moral of this story- strain before ingesting hot chocolate of any kind