Monday, January 31, 2011

to improvise or not to improvise… that IS the question

improvise |ˈimprəˌvīz|
produce or make (something) from whatever is available

I always cringe when I ask Mr. B. to do something around the house or with the cars because it seems that most things are impossible for a man to fix without a new tool. My boys are starting to say this to me too…. "but mom, I HAVE to have a _________ tool BEFORE I can fix _______"

So I laughed when I saw that my GIRL was so good at improvising! She ripped the plastic off of her soap bottle for a blanket and used a little cup as a pillow for her barbie in the bath. YAY girls! I like this kind of thinking… using what you have is a great idea!

Sunday, January 30, 2011

a fiery date night….

Kid4 and I had a little date night Thursday night. She has been DYING to eat at a Japanese restaurant called ZEN. They cook in front of you and she had these visions of perfectness. So off we went for a perfect and very girly date, just her and I.

She used chop sticks like a pro. She ate everything with chop sticks! Trust me, she DID NOT eat this onion, she was posing! It was such a fun date!

Heres how she REALLY felt- she was nervous about the fire and unsure about sharing a table with strangers- but SO WAS I! We ended us really enjoying each other and have lots of nice talks about how she loved the food, how she loves first grade, how she misses her Daddy, how she loves animals SO SO much and how we HAVE to go back really really soon….

…..and I agree….

Saturday, January 29, 2011


Kid4 wrote this note to our dog Max, who is a whiner!

I laughed because at first it said S-T-O-P and then she looked at it really hard and said "I bet he can't read this"… and right before I was going to go into the "yeah… animals can't read" talk…she wrote out N-O and said so proudly "there, this is probably better"… so I skipped the talk and enjoyed her cuteness.

Besides since animals don't talk how do we really know they can't read?

Friday, January 28, 2011


What makes you feel lovely?

lovely |ˈləvlē|
adjective ( -lier , -liest )
exquisitely beautiful
Is there one particular thing, one particular person, one particular place that you feel lovely? Is it possible to pinpoint exactly one thing about another person that makes you feel so lovely? Is it possible to pinpoint the exact moment or does it just sneak up on you and all of a sudden you realize how lovely you feel and you can't put your finger on exactly why.
I hope you have someone that makes you feel lovely, a certain place a particular thing or all those things at once. I think everyone deserves to feel lovely. Can you imagine feeling extremely beautiful everyday? I hope you do feel beautiful, loved, important, smart and just plain lovely as often as possible.
Have a lovely day…. REALLY…. just DO IT!

Thursday, January 27, 2011

driving diva

My beautiful, smart and amazing go getter, Kid2 got her license today. I'm so proud of her, Im always proud of her. She really someone to behold, to be proud of, to look up too. As I stood there signing the documents saying that I would let her drive, saying that I was allowing her to be on very big roads with very mean drivers, I felt a little sick.

Theres always a part of being a mom that is so tearing. Of course a part of me is so proud, glad that she can depend on herself and stop being so frustrated when we're late to pick her up or she can't go somewhere she wants too, but theres another part to that too. The other part of me wants to take her away from a mean world, from aggressive drivers, from dangerously darting deer… a part of me wants to protect her forever and ever and thats the part that gets torn away. I know I can't protect her from everything, I know she has to live to learn, but I really miss buckling her into a stroller and making sure she is safe (except for that one time when I forgot to buckle her and she fell out and got a concussion… but it was only once)

I love my kid2, she is utterly amazing to me and I want her to be safe and sound. She won't know the feeling of horror that letting your kids grow up is until she experiences it for herself with her own kids.

Dear Kid2, you have been on your feet rearing to go from the minute you were born. You wanted more than a plain boring life and you always made sure to get it. You decided what your dreams were and went for them. There is truly no one else like you, no one as strong as you, as driven as you and as kind-hearted as you are. You are one in a million my little girl and I feel so honored to be raising you. Please be easy on me, please remember that while you drive I am home pacing the floors because the thought of something happening to you breaks me to pieces. I love you probably more than you'll ever understand and I'm okay with that. You are a wonderful person and I am so proud of you. Please be careful in that big ol' world baby girl and remember that your momma loves you and needs you.

I love you.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Grandmas and burnt toast

(chicken coop)

I thought of my lovely Grammie this morning.

My toaster setting got turned up a little too high and my toast was a little burnt. When it popped out, the smell instantly took me back to hoofville, to mornings spent on my grandparents farm, to a the smell of bacon and eggs… to the smell of over cooked toast. I closed my eyes and thought of her, I thought of who she was and what a lovely person she was, how she loved me, how she loved others and how I loved her and her burnt toast. I thought of this weekend how I kept referring to her and how I would say "my grandparents"… and then I would find myself changing that to "my grandpa"… I miss her. I miss her every single day. I really doubt that anyone but BatGirl truly understands how I adored her and our special relationship.

Dearest sweetest Grammie,
I miss you, but that goes without saying. I miss the little things, your little funny looks, your silly laugh. I miss your toast and hearing you scoot around the kitchen in the morning. I miss walking to gather eggs with you and our little matching buckets. I miss how those hens didn't scare you a bit but they terrified me. You were so brave. I grew to understand you so deeply. I wouldn't change a single minute with you, not the hours spent in the hospital, not the days wondering if you'd make it, not the prayers begging God to take your pain away- none of it. Every single second with you was a gift that I'll cherish forever and ever.

I love you AND your burnt toast my Grammie.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Miss texty texterson

I took a nap Sunday afternoon, I had a busy and incredible weekend, but I was exhausted. I laid down and before I knew it Kid4 was tapping me between the eye brows (she likes to wake me up this way, I really DONT like it). I opened my eyes and felt irritated because WHO likes to be woken up this way and she said "Your cell phone needs to be charged and I can't plug it in"… and I sat up in silence…. How could she know my cell phone needed to be charged? WHY did she have my cell phone? How long did she have my cell phone? WHAT did she DO with my cell phone (because she IS a caller)… I tried to shake off my sleep and I said "what are you doing with my cell phone"? and she said as if I was absurd to ask; "I WAS texting Daddy."

This was the conversation I found on my phone-

Kid4- Dad

Mr. B.- yes


Mr. B. - I can't wait to see you again too love bird.


Mr. B.- I know what you mean. Maybe you should call me when you go to bed so I can kiss you over the phone

Friday, January 21, 2011

don't call me I'll call you...

Im writing this blog Thursday night at 8 o'clock and as I type my little girl is being put to bed for last time in a long time by her daddy. He has been gone for 2 weeks and came back for 4 days to say goodbye again, he had a few days off. While he was gone, my sweet little thing would NOT let anyone read to her, she said "THAT'S a Daddy job". So tonight as he put her to bed for the last time in a long time he talked to her about letting someone else read to her and she said she would let someone else and she also said the funniest thing-

Mr. B.- I'll be sure and call you EVERY night
Kid4- um. I think thats probably too much Daddy, how about just a few times a week?

She cracks me up!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

my little wild thing...

let the wild rumpus begin!

Little kid4 is really enjoying her Daddy being home. She has mostly just enjoyed hanging out with him, writing him little notes and just enjoying being a daddies girl again. Her little feet hit the ground running when she hops off the bus in the afternoon and she bursts in the door to see her Daddy.

Mr. B. leaves tomorrow night, she will be really sad Friday, I just know it… I'm sad for her but proud that he is serving our country. It's kind of a tearing feeling… it's all part of being a military wife, but it doesn't make it any easier.

I'll blog more soon, I promise.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

sisters, love and notes...

Sisters are so special. I absolutely adore a sister relationship. I thought my baby sister was a straight gift to me when I was little, I adored her- I seriously thought she was mine. I can still think back to her little toes and just see them in my mind. I still see her little fat feet after being shoved into her little pink Sunday shoes and how those little fat spots bulged out of those tiny shoes. I can still see her flaming red hair and her tiny gorgeous smile. Sometimes I close my eyes and think of her when she was tiny and I just cry because I wanted her to stay little forever… those kids- they grow.

My girls are NO exception! They mostly adore each other. They worship the ground my Big Girl walks on, we don't see her often but when we do, they are in heaven with her. My sweet sweet kid4 waits for Kid2 to get home from work so they can paint their toe nails, put make up on each and giggle while sipping hot chocolate. I love the way they love each other.

My Kid4 absolutely ADORES Weezy, she is sure that Weezy hung the moon and tells her daily how much she loves her. Weezy will be going back to the big city soon for school and my girls will miss her so much, I can't even imagine my house without her. Weezy is such a huge part of my heart. I found this note Kid4 left for her the other day and my heart melted- I love the way Kid4 loves others- it's perfect. I love it when people love each other and do kind things for each other. Isn't THAT what life is all about? If we spent all day doing things for only ourselves… what would we be but selfish empty skin and bones?

Love someone, tell them you love them, do something special for them. You'll feel good. TRUST ME!

Monday, January 17, 2011


satisfaction |ˌsatisˈfak sh ən|

fulfillment of one's wishes, expectations, or needs, or the pleasure derived from this : he smiled with satisfaction.

Kid4 felt completely satisfied Sunday afternoon when Daddy came home from being gone 2 weeks. He is only home for 4 days and he's off for a VERY LONG deployment, but she is glad to see him if even only for a second. Her face tells the story of satisfaction, trust, feeling complete. Her lips were pressed tightly closed, she was pressed against him as if to say "never let me go again, let me stay in this moment for as long as he will let me"… I love this picture, I love my girl and I love how she loves her Daddy!

Saturday, January 15, 2011

the amnesty sink

an official pardon for people who have been convicted of political offenses. An undertaking by the authorities (parents) to take no action against specific offenses and during a fixed period.

Wednesday night I realized that there were just 3 small plates in my cupboard and no matter how many times I did the dishes, they weren't multiplying… I was really sad about it.

I had an idea…

I said to my boys; "I seem to have no small plates, I am going to give you THIS night as an amnesty dish night, no consequences, I will wash them, just give them back, no questions asked.

I woke up to this-
Does this seem a little ridiculous to YOU TOO? I mean WOW… can I just say THEY ARE NOT EVEN SUPPOSE TO EAT DOWNSTAIRS!!!!! WHY ARE BIG KIDS SUCH A PAIN ???

Im not even going to consider amnesty laundry night… I might get buried alive!

Friday, January 14, 2011


I love the notes Kid4 writes.
Before we left the other day she gave us a list.

then base.
then home and clean.
and Kid3 clean.
me clean.
and then Daddy's go away party.


Little minds are really quite BIG!

I love her

Thursday, January 13, 2011

the horror continued...

She killed that little matchbox with a more than likely bad transmission over and over and over as she eeked out into the busy road ahead…

Again, I felt like I should probably give her some confidence, I mean after all isn’t that MY JOB? So, in my most terrified and again high-pitched voice I shout out “D-d-d-DEAR GOD, pah-pah-lease m-m-m-ake it stop”…. And I seriously did not mean to say that. (I wish I were kidding) I really wanted to give her words of wisdom, like calmly saying “you're doing good, just a little more gas and a little less clutch”… but instead I was in full freak out mode now. (Have I told you that I laugh hysterically when I’m nervous?) When I realized I was shouting out things I didn’t mean to say I tried to fix it by calmly saying “honey, everyone struggles when they learn to drive a stick”…. But instead I squeaked out “y-y-y-y-YOUR doing g-g-g-great…. P-p-p-p lease don’t kill us”…. And I was shocked… so there I am laughing hysterically and tears start pouring down my cheeks because I am literally scared to death. I can’t stop shouting, she is shouting and laughing at ME… because as you know I am “such a hoot when I’m nervous”…. I covered my face because at this point I was too scared to even get out of the car, you know since we were hanging out in the intersection and all.

THEN, SHE PUT IT IN REVERSE and hit the gas and I was sobbing… because I don’t think she even looked behind her. It was ONLY by the grace of God that there was no one behind us. I grasped my purse and seatbelt and sat there begging God, or Scotty, to Beam us up, Id take anywhere but here at this point.

Finally, she got that car to move and we sailed toward the other lane. And well…. she looked at me with pride as she sailed off almost into the curb… because apparently her hands and head are controlled by the SAME THING…. I shouted “OH PLEASE …. P-p-p-p-LEASE….. I-I- I-I-I th-th-think you need to watch a little c-c-c-c-closer!

We got there. I cried. I lived. I haven't been in the car with her since.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

driving nightmares!

Recently I had a life changing experience… my 16 year old daughter driving. It’s not that she’s a bad driver, but it’s also not that she’s a good driver. She has a stick shift and those are really hard to drive.

I wish the following was a fictional story, but sadly it’s all fact.

She had to go to work and I thought it would be a great idea to let her drive her own car…. (have I mentioned to you that I’m not all that smart?)

I backed out… because it’s hard to back out of a driveway… right? After I backed out and got “too close” (at least 5 feet) to Kid1’s car she tried to get it to move without rolling… but as we moved dangerously close to Kid1’s beloved Honda she was screaming and I was still relatively calm. She got out, I got out, moved her car to a better spot… Anyway…. We got going after a few tries and sailed straight through the first stop sign, which should have been my first clue. When leaving our neighborhood you have to turn out into traffic… and as she rolled, and the car sputtered and died over and over all as we're rolling into the street, I started to feel a REAL panic coming on.

I could not even help myself; I was starting to completely freak out. At this point, I thought that she probably needed some reassurance, so in my high-pitched-dog-whistle-pure- panic-voice I shout and I DO MEAN shout… “w-w-w-well….. your d-d-d-d-doing gah-gah-gah REAT honey” (did I also tell you I have a REALLY bad stammer when I’m DYING of fear?) She laughed because as you know “I’m so funny” when in fear for my life… as other cars whizzed by I just covered my eyes.

She finally made it, she got out on the relatively big road with her stick shift and I was paralyzed in horror when I realized the next turn is a MAJOR intersection with only a stop sign… I mean it’s all judgment and gas here ... and she, as a new driver, has a little less good judgment and little more of “meh…. I’ll probably make it” attitude… (I need to interject here that she drives a HONDA CRX- VERY small car). As we glide into the stop at the VERY busy road ahead, I honestly thought I would throw up. I kept telling myself that we would probably be okay ….

to be continued….

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...

Somehow, for kid4, these shoes seemed appropriate for the weather. I asked her and she said that they were high enough to keep out of the snow… so….? okay, whatever… I let her wear them because she was SO cute in them and heck who cares what you wear into the snow when you only have snow once a year! Sparkly shoes- YES PLEASE!

She also felt it was appropriate to wear a long sleeved night gown into the snow filled day because it was "SOOO warm". She danced and played and sang and hopped in the snow. I don't think she ever got cold. She loved every minute of it and I loved watching her frolic in a winter wonderland….

My snow angel had quite a morning in the snow… a time I'm sure she won't soon forget. Snow days are memorable, they are lovely and good. I love you my little snow bird!

Monday, January 10, 2011

the last goodbye

A friend of our family took a few pics the minute before Mr. B. left for the first leg of his deployment. I love last and first pictures… they capture moments that people often forget to capture. Look at my kids- oh my how they have grown…!

Look at my beautiful girl and her sad smile. She is always smiling but I can see the agony behind that smile. She will miss her Daddy. She already does. Her Daddy was smitten by pink and girly things the minute she was born. They have a deep respect and understanding for one another.

Kid4 wanted a picture of Daddy kissing her to remember him by. I thought this one turned out perfectly. This Daddy daughter pair is so lovely. I have loved watching them together from the minute she was born, he adored her.

This is the last self portrait of Mr B. and I right before he shipped off on to his new adventure… Don't worry Mr. B. we're keeping things all picked up and taken care of around here… We love you and miss you! See you SOON! (but not soon enough)

Sunday, January 9, 2011

stress with a little side of spinal tap- YAY me!

(me ready for the spinal)

So I have a weird illness- when I get REALLY stressed out, I get a high pressure in my head. It's a spinal fluid thing. It's weird and it's terrible. I get a low grade headache that lasts for months until it gets unbearable and then Bat Girl drags me to a neurologist…

This time it was a little different, I had my routine eye exam and the eye Dr. was a nervous wreck, stopped the eye exam and sent me straight to a neurologist… it all happened very fast. I didn't leave with the cute glasses I wanted, I didn't leave with contacts… I left with a huge nervous feeling knowing it was back.

(The actual procedure)

So today I had a spinal tap… I did indeed have a high pressure and I am home recovering. Bat Girl is taking great care of me and the kids are taking care of themselves with Bat Girls assistance of course! What would I do without her you ask? I have no idea!

(This is the fluid they pulled off my spine)

So apparently the stress of the deployment, and possibly a mouse sent me straight over the edge… Im better now. Ready to move on without a headache and face this deployment head on!

Saturday, January 8, 2011

the sun has set on the murderous muck...

We had a visitor.
He was cute.
He was small.
He was soft (or he looked soft, I didn't touch him)
I had to plan his demise.
I felt sad about it, but THIS particular visitor just isn't safe to have around.

SO the plotting began.
Kid2 went to the store to buy the murderous materials…
(I CANNOT bear to glue something to a glue trap so a glue trap was out)
(I CANNOT bear the smell of rotting tissue so poison was out)
(I CANNOT bear to snap the head off of a little mouse… but…..)
Kid1 planned out the murder…
and we waited…
and waited….

Yesterday morning the murder of a small and probably sweet hearted mouse was carried out. I felt sad, but I don't like mouse germs. I keep telling myself that THIS particular murder was necessary… and thankful that there are not human sized mouse traps because I have certainly been a pesky rodent to a friend or two… what if they set a trap for me?

Friday, January 7, 2011


The beauty in something simple is well…. simple.

What is beautiful to you?

I think beautiful is a baby's laugh, an uncomplicated pure giggle, a silently swaying tree on a breezy day, a hard rain on a quiet afternoon… beauty is honestly in the eye of the beholder. I think to some beauty is a new car or a diamond ring. I think to some beauty is just simply being able to be free and to others beauty is the heartbeat of their sick or dying loved one.

I see beauty in so many things. Daily my world is filled with beauty. The sounds of my children are (mostly) beautiful to my ears. The messes they make can be beautiful to me because it's a sign that they are healthy normal children. The terrifying fact that they are driving IS beautiful, no matter what I say, because it means that they are normal developing teens. I get the honor of hearing the beautiful laugh of the most beautiful baby girl every day. I am graced with the presence of the most amazing friend in the world, and she is beautiful. I am filled with a love that can only be described as the most beautiful feeling I have ever had. Thank you for being so beautiful inside and out!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder my friends… find the beauty around you and embrace it.

*note to self- take my own advice*

Thursday, January 6, 2011

family pics

nothing much to report…
we got family pictures before Mr. B. left.
These were taken two days before he left.
Little Kid4 is taking it the hardest, but we knew she would.
He comes back in 10 days for 4 days, and then is off again.
I think it might be harder for her to see him for such a short time… we'll see.
I still need to write a post about having my Kid3 back…
This year is going to be an exciting year… YOU won't even believe it!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

poor kid

Poor Kid4.
She rushed down the stairs this morning.
Threw the door open to our bathroom.
And said…

(in a very sad and disappointed voice)

"OH….. I was gonna tell Daddy Good morning…. I forgot he was gone…."
I said "well….. you can tell ME good morning honey…."
She said with her back turned towards me….
"yeah, okay…. good morning"

Monday, January 3, 2011


Well he's gone.
Let the deployment start...
So in the first 6 hours I heard a REALLY LOUD noise in the basement….
I saw TWO spiders.
a mouse
jumped out of a drawer
down my shirt
AND hopped onto the floor

all along I screamed like a 6 year old girl.
I jumped up and down like a baby throwing a fit
and shouted NO NO NO!
(because you know how mice respond to the word "NO")

I finally was able to actually move while jumping and screaming
Kid4 figured she probably should be scared too.

we both jumped into the chair in the living room.

She said "let me guess…...A spider?"
I struggled for words… I squeaked out "yeah" (I mean- WHY scare the kid?)
she said "OH WOW, gimme your shoe and I'll take care of it"

I laughed because she is SO

I put on shoes, I finished making dinner, I checked out the basement ALL by myself and then I finished what I started… because after all… Mr. B. is gone now and I have to be able to take care of everything… errrrr…. most things….

but can I just say that we have NEVER had a mouse in this house? WHY WHY WHY did he decide to move in now?

Sunday, January 2, 2011

It's today...

Well Mr. B leaves today.
He will be gone for 2 weeks, then home for a few days

Dear Mr. B,
I wish you the best of luck. I love you dearly. You are a good life partner, daddy, and friend. I promise we will keep the kitchen clean and the floors vacuumed! Please take good care of you, call when you can and don't ever forget how much we love you.
I already miss you,
Love, me

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year

I rang in the new year with my Mr. B. and the girls!
We got family pictures yesterday, the last day of the year.
AND I can't wait to see them!
I forgot to watch the ball drop….
Like I totally forgot there was even a celebration….
Im so fun :/

Happy New Year friends!
I love you!