Friday, November 11, 2016

An opinion and a dose of reality

The election has me thinking hard about opinions and what an opinion is based on. I have heard so many people say that they have "researched" and that their opinion is based on facts and to be honest, I don't think thats really probable. Your opinion is just what it is, its YOUR opinion. Its your feeble attempt to calm your own nerves and prove to yourself or someone else that you just might be right, when in fact it's doubtful that you are, because an opinion is literally 'a judgment not necessarily based on fact'. We get our opinions from sources WE ourselves chose. Heres what I believe; theres NOTHING new under the sun, do you hear me? NOTHING... we've always had corrupt politicians, mean spirited people and humans with STRONG opinions. None of that matters because we can't ALL be happy, and we won't ALL have the decency to be kind either. This is the world we live in.

Get over yourself, get over everyone else, carry on. Hold your head up, stick to your opinion, thats fine, but don't be a jerk about it. Know that your opinion is just your own feeble idea of how you think the world should work, thats it. Vote and then carry on, but be DECENT to one another for crying out loud 

So anyway, thats just my opinion.
 Im probably wrong anyway...

Thursday, June 16, 2016


Dear Brother, you've been gone 15 days and I can hardly wrap my head around it. I knew I would outlive you, yet I'm shocked. Dale and Nicole texted and said they had found shark teeth while walking the beach! That brought them such comfort. Isn't it funny how we find comfort in the littlest things? I'm not finding much comfort yet, I guess time will bring that later. I keep seeing us when we were kids playing in Antlers. I never pictured us as adults back then, Im sure thats best. If we had known what was coming... well... Im glad we didn't know. Tuesday was my hardest day, I just couldn't cope. I keep hearing you in my mind wishing our last conversation was different. Im still looking for peace, send some if you can. Love you forever...

Tuesday, June 14, 2016


Here I am, its been awhile but I had to write to you. Even though I now you won't respond, at least I can feel you reading my words.

He's gone.

Gone adjective-
no longer present, departed.

He is no longer present and there is no future with him. Not a way to say hello, not a single second with him again and I can't breath. I held up pretty well with my parents, with his friends, with myself for a little while. That ended today, I literally hurt with sadness. How do I even know how to grieve for him? How will I be able to function for so many years without someone I've had my whole life?

Today I ACHE to my very core for my brother, not because I miss him, but because he's GONE- theres no future and thats a hard pill to swallow.

Death is final

I don't want to grieve, I just want to be ok and Im not able to control it. Im not ok.

I can't think, I can't write, I can't function today.