Thursday, January 27, 2011

driving diva

My beautiful, smart and amazing go getter, Kid2 got her license today. I'm so proud of her, Im always proud of her. She really someone to behold, to be proud of, to look up too. As I stood there signing the documents saying that I would let her drive, saying that I was allowing her to be on very big roads with very mean drivers, I felt a little sick.

Theres always a part of being a mom that is so tearing. Of course a part of me is so proud, glad that she can depend on herself and stop being so frustrated when we're late to pick her up or she can't go somewhere she wants too, but theres another part to that too. The other part of me wants to take her away from a mean world, from aggressive drivers, from dangerously darting deer… a part of me wants to protect her forever and ever and thats the part that gets torn away. I know I can't protect her from everything, I know she has to live to learn, but I really miss buckling her into a stroller and making sure she is safe (except for that one time when I forgot to buckle her and she fell out and got a concussion… but it was only once)

I love my kid2, she is utterly amazing to me and I want her to be safe and sound. She won't know the feeling of horror that letting your kids grow up is until she experiences it for herself with her own kids.

Dear Kid2, you have been on your feet rearing to go from the minute you were born. You wanted more than a plain boring life and you always made sure to get it. You decided what your dreams were and went for them. There is truly no one else like you, no one as strong as you, as driven as you and as kind-hearted as you are. You are one in a million my little girl and I feel so honored to be raising you. Please be easy on me, please remember that while you drive I am home pacing the floors because the thought of something happening to you breaks me to pieces. I love you probably more than you'll ever understand and I'm okay with that. You are a wonderful person and I am so proud of you. Please be careful in that big ol' world baby girl and remember that your momma loves you and needs you.

I love you.

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