Wednesday, November 24, 2010

GOT RABIES? (I don't) *part 2*

These are the 5 hemoglobin shots, she had already given my the other 2

So Bat Girl and I are driving along in possum-poking silence and I start to fear the foaming in a REALLY bad way... I start thinking back to the last tetanus shot which I have never had and really consider that I have made an extremely stupid decision.


After much consideration, mostly, HOW I am going to tell an ER doc, all the nurses and the lady who checks me in that I have been bitten by a dead possum... I was reasoning out, trying to convince myself that this has probably happened before and it probably isn't all that rare. I can't be the ONLY person that has ever tried to pull a possum's tooth... right?


So we went ahead and decided to stop at an E.R. and ask about the tooth, and the possibility of a tetanus shot and possibly lose any pride I may have left. I moseyed up to the counter with Bat Girl on my heels, because she doesn't want to "miss anyone's face when I tell them that I have been 'bitten' by a dead possum" and I won't lie, apparently THIS specific incident hasn't ever happened before...! Trust me, I had to tell many people, the lady at the counter wanted me to tell another lady at the counter and they laughed out loud. (who knew that possums don't really bite).


I got checked in, sent to a room and sat anxiously. I really hate shots and I was sure I would need a tetanus. Time after time the door swung open as person after person apologized for "having the wrong room" - all along we knew they were looking and laughing. I was feeling seriously insecure and nervous about getting THE shot.


When the Dr. came in she honestly laughed right at me. She kept apologizing, saying this has never happened to her before... I could keep a smile (remember I'm a nervous laugher), swallowing my pride because after all, I did touch a dead possum and I probably deserved a little shot of humiliation... I may or may not have learned my lesson at this point.


SOOOO.... anywho, long story short, after the Dr. left she sent in nurse Ratched the GAH-rouch and there on the counter she dropped SEVEN shots... SEVEN!


DID YOU HEAR ME?

SEVEN SHOTS!


Aparently if you poke a possum in the tooth and it cuts your finger you have to have-


1. tetanus shot (moderate needle)
2. rabies vaccine (moderate needle)
3. rabies hemoglobin (HA-UGE needle)
3. rabies hemoglobin (HA-UGE needle)
4. rabies hemoglobin (HA-UGE needle)
5. rabies hemoglobin (HA-UGE needle)
6. rabies hemoglobin (HA-UGE needle)
7. rabies hemoglobin (HA-UGE possible elephant needle)


I promise you when I looked away I think nurse Ratched backed up and shot that needle like an elephant dart into my leg... she was NOT gentle to say the least and she found NO humor in the being "bitten by a dead possum" thing. She wasn't having it!


So at this point poor Bat Girl had seen WAY more of me than she ever imagined, I have been SHOT in every limb and some twice, my pants are at my ankles, I can barely stand and I am in P.A.I.N. Nurse Ratched gives me the all clear and that's that... right?


NO!


I have to go back to that E.R. (not in my town) every Sunday till Christmas to get another shot! Apparently the rabies is a little less like a series of a few and a little more like a LOT! So needless to say Bat Girl and I have plans on Sundays now.


Guess what? I'm a lot less likely to pull a possum's tooth again! Im not saying it won't EVER happen- thats a bit of a commitment.

1 comment:

harmonylead said...

OMG! You know, the Wilson's are story tellers and we just may add this one to our arsenal. I can hear us now, "Oh, tell the one about Gene's roommate's Mom and the dead possum, again!"