Friday, December 25, 2009

18 years and couting


I look back at 18 years and can’t believe it’s been that long and this short. Sometimes it feels like I’ve known you all my life and sometimes we share the excitement of pure strangers.

Your kindness often surprises me. Out of the blue you seem to deeply understand someone beyond what I think anyone else can. Right when I think I know you inside and out you surprise me even after all these years. Isn’t this what a marriage should be? Isn’t it perfect to still be surprised by one another sometimes? You’re the right kind of surprise and the right combination of exciting and I thank you for being you.

Our wedding day was one of a kind, I’m sure of it. I think back on it now and how imperfect it was yet the memories are so worth all of the craziness. We didn’t have months of planning and picking out dresses and flowers, we just had us, we just got married and there something so perfect about that to me. I was so nervous, I was so unsure about so many things, but I wasn’t unsure about loving you. I didn’t know how our life would play out, I had no idea how to become a wife and mother but I knew how to love you and that’s all I needed.

Our years have certainly been exciting more than not and although I would change some things, I would not change much. Each child we have loved has changed our relationship in one way or another. Each day has brought us new excitements and new challenges. Each year has taught me lessons that I never thought I would have to learn, yet I’m thankful for them all in one way or another. Each day with you I become more and more in love with the man I married 18 years ago.

I can’t believe we’re here together in the place in our lives where we are watching our children date, finish high school, drive and move out. Does it seem possible to you that we are already at this point in our life? Has time flown for you too? Some days I look at our children’s faces and they seem much too old for us. I marvel at the fact that they are so old now and that we have been a family for so many years. The children in our lives have blessed us deeply and I know you’re the only one that understands that fully.

Thank you for being you, thanks you for loving me, thank you for being my constant companion and someone to depend on. Thank you for the understanding and patience you give me when I am so hard on you. Thank you for knowing me well enough to understand my quirks and loving me in spite of them.

Our life could never be written in one single story but hundreds of small chapters that no one but us would understand. Our life together has been one tall tale after another weaved together to create a very beautiful and sometimes weird life that I love.

I cherish you. I simply cannot imagine life without you as my witness to our days together. I love you, I love you more than I could ever say, and there simply are no words to thank you for being my witness, the father to my babies, my rock and the man that I have loved for so long.

Thank you for the 18 years you have given me and I am looking forward to so many more.

2 comments:

Brandi said...

Cheers and many, many, many more! Happy Anniversary Ashley and Mr. B! :)

wabisabigirl said...

You're such a sweetheart Ashley. I love reading the outpouring of your heart...