Sometimes I think I’ll absolutely die without him… I know I know... I always say the sheets, the vacuuming, and the reading to kids…. But its so much more and I don’t even have the words…
All I want to be is mad... mad that he is leaving. Will I be okay?
Sure I will be. I WILL MAKE SURE I AM. I will lock my own doors, I will lock my own car, I will put myself to bed, turn out the lights and make sure my house is out of harms way…
But I won’t be unscathed, I won’t be unharmed, I won’t be protected by him. He’s always protected me… I’ll be alone in a way. (Minus lots of kids- thank GOD)
And the shocking news is that my son, my baby, the other only man whom I truly trust is also leaving. Im thinking….
There is not one single thing I can do about it. Any of it… I can’t change it, not one minute, not one day, not one thing. They are leaving me and I’m going to have to be independent.
And I’m not really all that good at it.
I’ll make it, I know that I will.
(Whining DOES help … right?)