Wednesday, January 16, 2013

hot cats and teens, the saga



So my cat is in heat and I would like to say that I have never witnessed such horror. I have never seen a cat in heat but I HAVE had teenagers and I hate to admit that it is very similar! Keep an open mind here and trust that this post will NOT get gross, unless your grossed by teens or cats and in that case you better stop reading.

Recently two of my big kids, Kid1 and Kid2 have moved out and are starting their own lives, easy peasy…? Not so much! I thought I would have a little break from whining and moaning until I came home to the horror that is a cat in heat :(

My cat was meowing and howling and begging to GO OUT. Kid4 said that she thinks that she is "acting inappropriately" and I would have to agree. I have felt the EXACT same way about my teens. Kitty moans and whines and scratches at the door. My teens have whined and begged and stood at the door wanting to go out while I said "NO".

Our conversations have often gone like this:
TEEN-hey mom, can I go to the all night after prom party?
ME- well heck yeah, I wouldn't want you to miss THAT!
TEEN- Awesome mom, thanks so much.
ME- Hey (insert teen name here), it's no problem. Im just going to need the address of the party
TEEN- I don't know it
ME- hmmmmmm….. I bet whoever is having the party knows the address, so why dont you wait till you get there and then ask them
TEEN- oh, ok, yeah… I'll do that. What if I can't get it?
ME- Then you can't go.
TEEN- I'll figure it out.

meanwhile back at home after prom…. I get a text with the address…..

TEEN- the address is (socially hosted party, anywhere USA)
ME- Cool, thanks, I'll see you in an hour
TEEN- WHAT? WAIT! I thought you said I could stay?
ME- well honey, I did, but I am going to have to make sure your safe
TEEN- MOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!
Me- either I check on you and you stay or I come and get you
TEEN- fine mom.
ME- great, see you in an hour :)

An hour later I pull up to the party.

TEEN- hey mom
ME- Hi honey, having fun? I hope there is no drinking going on… darn, I only wore my pajama pants, but id really like to meet the parents…. hmmmm…. I doubt they will mind what Im wearing… don't you think?
*mortified* TEEN- MOM! NOOOO….. it's ok, I met them and they are really nice.
ME- Awwww… heck, okay, well I'll see you in an hour, I'll wear jeans and go in then.
*confused* TEEN- WHAaaaa….? Wait…. mom….. Im FINE… (insert all the insisting, the excuses, the "I don't drinks" and "why can't you trusts mes" here)
ME- well honey, if you want to stay, I am TOTALLY great with that, but I will want to see you once an hour every hour. I think it's very generous that Im willing to drive here and check on you, so you can stay.
TEEN- never mind, I'll go with you, thats ridiculous, I don't want you here every hour
ME- are you sure, I really don't mind. I like having the quiet time in the car alone
TEEN- MOM LETS GO, JUST DRIVE
ME- awww heck, thanks! This will insure that I will get a good nights sleep tonight. (insert mom evil laugh here)

*crickets* really nothing left to say at this point and there are lovely oldies on the radio… such a nice quiet drive home.

How does this have anything to do with the cat?!

Cat- MEOW MEOW MEOW, MOAN, GROAN, I want to go out!
Me- sure, Id love to take you out ON. A. LEASH.
Cat- SCREAM, WHINE, RUB ON THE DOOR while refusing a leash
Me- if you don't want a leash, I bet we can compromise… this is no problem. I have this great kennel and I am more than happy to put IT outside and YOU in it.
Cat- MEOW MEOW MEOW….. no thanks to the kennel.
Me- how about the laundry room?
CAT- MEOW SCREAM, MOAN, COMPLAIN
Me- how about the garage?
CAT- SCRATCH, MEOW, SCREAM, RUB….

Are you still asking what cats in heat and teens have in common? Whine, BEG, whine, whine, whine.

I WIN.

Moral of the story? Get Cats! I put her in the garage and if Im far enough in the house I can't hear a thing! She has no phone, no computer and no thumbs and can't open the door! Its great.

1 comment:

Shawnda Campbell said...

That's the best thing I've heard in along time! Thanks for sharing! I love your stories