Thursday, February 3, 2011


I had a total inner panic today when I realized that I had never sent a check to the high school for Kid1's cap and gown so I rushed around looking for the note to see if I missed the deadline, finally I gave up and just called the school. I said "Hi, I am Kid1's mom and I totally forgot to pay for his cap and gown and Im totally freaking out inside worried that he won't be able to go to the ceremony"… she reassured me that she had taken his measurements and that I didn't have to pay until April. She very confidently said "He will be able to walk". I took a big breath, thanked her and hung up.

As I hung up, I sat there and re-played the conversation in my head that I just had with the secretary… did she say "walk"? WAIT… wait a COTTON PICKIN' second here…. did she say "walk"? Wait…. didn't he just learn to walk? Is it even remotely possible that he is going to have his name announced, walk across a big stage and graduate from high school? Is my baby old enough to graduate? WHEN did this happen? I sat there and the life of my little boy played in my head and I closed my eyes and remembered him. I closed my eyes and felt his soft yellow hair, I felt my lips on his hot cheeks, I could hear his little baby boy noises in my ear once again. I kept my eyes tightly shut as I watched him learn to crawl and then walk in my mind. I forced my eyes to stay securely closed and watched him sit on those big stairs on his first day of kindergarten, I could just hear his little voice begging me to let him stay home "just one more day".

He grew. He grew up. He's about to "walk". He's about to graduate. I know I'll stand there sobbing like a baby, or will I see a little tiny boy crawling, walking, and running across the stage…? Will his life, the life he had with me flash before my eyes once again? Will I watch him and be paralyzed with mother emotion?

I guess we'll see… don't take your eyes off your babies because before you know it they will "walk", they will fly and well they just won't be your babies anymore.

*boo hoo*


Erin said...

Oh Ashley, you need to read the children's book, Let me hold you longer" by Karen Kingsbury. Give it to kid 1 as an early grad present. Jack will not let me read it to him as of late because he says that "all you do is cry!"

wabisabigirl said...

You kill me with these posts about kids growing up!!!