Wednesday, January 13, 2010

things about Thing 1 and Thing 2

Do you ever feel like you have lost touch with your kids? I think it's so much easier to keep in contact with what your small kids are doing and we become lazy when it comes to our teens. I think that somewhere along the way we look at them and while they are pushing for freedom we are secretly happy to have a break from entertaining and keeping kids busy. We welcome a sleep over, an afternoon with friends. We start to allow them to break away from us a little bit at a time.

But where do we stop? How do you let them go but still keep them close? How do you promote independence and also watch them with a close eye?

I entered my kid’s teenage years with gritted teeth. Not only did I not want them to leave the little kid phase, let’s face it, junior high kids are barely recognizable as humans. I was so sick of the junior high phase I just knew I should be dreading high school. While they whined and complained their way through junior high and I tried not to ring their necks as they grew something happened. One day all of a sudden I realized that these kids, these struggling awkward junior high kids were human again. They talked normal, without a boss or a whine, they seemed fairly reasonable with their requests, human. Weird. Time for a readjustment on my part.

While I readjusted and got to know them again I was amazed at what I saw. I saw practically grownups dealing with issues, solving problems, making friends and maneuvering the ropes of life with quite a bit of grace. I stood back in awe of the friends they were choosing for themselves, and falling in love with their friends too. When did it happen? When did my babies grow up to be reasonable people?
Teenagers get a bad reputation. I'm not saying they are perfect- they are NOT, but they do deserve a chance. My neighbors cringe at my boys when they mess around outside, they literally run and get inside. I think they are afraid to talk to my teenagers or their friends and they are missing out. The things I've learned from my teens, the friends that I have had the opportunity to know through them are priceless.

Looking back I wouldn't change a thing, not the screaming babies, not the I wrote on my wall again, not the I will probably never remember my homework so why ask, not the awkwardness of junior highers. Do you want to know why? (I know you can barely wait) Because if I changed one moment, one single thing, my teenagers wouldn't be who they are scars and all.

I love them, I love spending time with them and I cherish every last moment that we have because you just never know when the last time will be.

Thank you Kid1 and Kid2 for being lovely, confident and for not being afraid to be individuals. Thank you for being you. You're both amazing and I am looking forward to many many more years of time spent laughing, talking and connecting. I love you more than I can say.


No comments: