Friday, September 17, 2010


I promise you, I PROMISE YOU I should NOT be blogging right now.
Im too tired to make sense.
but I HAVE to tell you about my last few days...

We headed out to New Mexico earlier than planned.
We drove for 25 hours.
I slept 2 hours on the road (I can't sleep)
we pulled into town,
went straight to school,
registered for tomorrows school festivities


then visited with my parents for a little while.
I can barely form a sentence Im so tired,
I am NOT even going to try to describe to you what I LOOK LIKE (it's bad)
We went to a parent fundraiser and got to visit with my favorite Kellye!
I was seriously SO excited to get to my parents by 9 and go to sleep...


Lauren said her throat hurt


I looked in it....
Her throat was covered in blisters....
yeah, probably strep.
I'm blogging from the E.R.
good fun for us all.
poor kid, poor me, poor people I come in contact with tomorrow when Im super grouchy.

You would seriously NOT believe what we've seen in the ER tonight...
  • I can't even begin to tell the size of the rear-end we saw (i know you are thinking Im mean right now- trust me it is worth mentioning)
  • the lady behind the desk has SUPER long hair (to her knees) and someone who was checking in at the front desk (and needed to be seen first because her "daughters throat hurt") said to the long haired lady (Ruthanne) "Can I give you my number incase you decide to cut your hair, I have a lot of cancer in my family". Thats weird.. it's a donation thing, not a pick your own hair BEFORE it's cut thing....
  • Ruthanne, the lady behind the desk is possibly the NICEST person on earth
  • the lady who asked for Ruthannes hair borrowed her clothes from a Dr. Suess novel- striped socks and all.
  • The hair lady.... you know the hair beggar? She is also chatty and possibly drunk...
  • Im just positive that I have entered a parallel universe. I wish I were kidding.
  • The vending machine only takes dollars- I only have a 20. Ruthanne got us waters WITH a straw... I think I'm going to have to send Ruthanne and thank you card that says "thanks for being the most normal part of my day"... do they make those?
  • why do people with tattoos wear very little clothes? (Im not referring to ALL tattooed people.. just the REALLY unfortunate looking ones seem to have this issue)
  • Does the word waiting room mean it's THE room that you should WAIT in to you? I only ask because the hair covetor keeps wandering outside and then is surprised when she keeps missing the nurse.... LADY- it's a W-A-I-T-I-N-G room.... this is WHERE you wait.
  • Im grouchy. I've only had 2 hours of sleep in 2 days and 2 night.... this whole 2 thing isn't really working for me.
  • my eyes are either burning from the second hand smoke wafting in from the outside OR the fact that they have been opened for what feels like months with no rest.
  • (oh no- the hair craver got eye contact with me- and NO bat girl, I DID NOT smile at her- she might scalp me)
  • Im positive Im going to leave her with something horrible.... like lice or the mange, have I told you lately I don't do germs well?
  • im seriously re-thinking this girdle about now.... why look thin for the ER?
  • have you heard camel toe?- nuff said. (one more thing- it was a man)
  • no one here seems to be wearing shoes OR covering their mouths- (GEE, maybe thats why strep is "going around" here)
  • THANK GOODNESS for anti bac... I don't even care if it's creating a super germ- it's giving me a peace of mind tonight...
I love you all.
goodnight... hopefully soon
Im out


Kendall said...

Hahahaha! Ashley you crack me up! The camel toe bullet almost made me spit my coffee out! HA! There's an actual word for the male version but I don't think I can type it! Hope you get some rest and Lauren feels better soon!

Ashley said...

Kendall- does the male version have something to do with a moose? LOL

Brandi said...

OMW, Ash! I am laughing so hard right now... yep, the camel toe gave me a serious case of the giggles. It's 1am, the boys are having the sleepover from hell, and this was the perfect time to read this post.

Speaking of lice, I was laying in bed tonight trying to sleep... the boys were supposed to be 'roughing it' in a tent in the backyard, but they came inside b/c it was too hot. Now there are strange (germy) kids sleeping in my kids' room, using their pillows and blankets, and GAH! I just want the sun to rise so I can wake them up, kick them out, and start washing bedding and disinfecting everything!!!

I surely hope you got some rest and I hope Laurent feels better fast! :)

Brandi said...

Typo... 'Lauren.' I think I need some sleep as well.

Brandi said...

Oh, one more thing... they're probably all aliens. Just sayin'.

Ashley said...

Brandi- Im just sure your right... aliens ARE here- so weird!