Tuesday, February 9, 2010
teenagers are.... errrrr... can be so fun. I hardly have a bad day with my teens anymore. I hardly have to correct them anymore as they know how to make good decisions. I think this is called "reaping what you sow". I'd like to say that I did everything perfectly when they were young but that simply isn't true. I made so many mistakes- too many to count, too many to remember and certainly too many to write down. I looked at them often when they were young and wondered how in the world I would handle teenagers, how I would let them drive, date, go out alone and I can honestly say that I am able to do all these things. Kid1 and Kid2 are dating (not each other- YIKES), driving and going out alone with friends and I can confidently wave goodbye and know that they will make good decisions. Do I still pace the floors sometimes when Kid2 is on a date? Well.... YEAH- I'm her mom! I do feel confident that she will make good choices. Here is what I believe the key to having confidence in her is.
Being able to live with your own decisions AKA yourself.
Her decisions are her own. I can't watch her 24 hours a day, I simply cannot do it. She has to own her own decisions and live with her choices. She And I have had this conversation so many times, I always say "If you can live with it..." She is the one who she has to be alone with at the end of the day. If I am always breathing down her neck and I am the only one holding her responsible what happens when I am not there to do it? She has to feel confident to say no and trust herself.
Do I think they'll make mistakes? Of course I do. They're human. I make mistakes every day, I don't expect my kids to be perfect, I just expect them to be accountable to themselves.
So let's all cross our fingers and hope for the best!