Monday, September 12, 2011

WHERE have my rose colored glasses gone…?

Do you know what it feels like to believe with all that you are in someone else? Do you know what it feels like to give your whole heart to someone and love them with all that you have in you only to find out that they are not who they say they are? Have you ever felt tricked, abused and lied too? Have you ever seen someone FINALLY for who they really are and felt crushed, like the wind has been knocked out of you? It's a surreal feeling really, like you have been knocked on your back and the world goes on around you but you can't quite get your breathe enough to stand. I keep taking deep breaths, I keep watching the world go by, I keep waking up to the same thing every day wishing this was all a dream but it's not. I find myself sitting for hours thinking about how it all happened, when it began and when I started pretending it was all okay… I wonder when I let it all go too far… I wonder when I loved too much and when I lost myself. I wonder how I let it all go so far, so wrong. Have you ever believed someone is something they are not?

I did. And I wish with all my might, and I pray with all my might that I could put my rose colored glasses back on and that I still believed it. I would take it all back in a second, but now my eyes have seen the truth.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

1 comment:

Brandi said...

My darling, I'm so sorry. I have had that happen - sort of. I was suspicious of the person from past behavior, but they were a close family member and what they did was SO out of left field it was still shocking and tremendously hurtful.

Sending you a big hug and prayers, always.