Sunday, September 11, 2011

9/11 (repost from 2009)

So many have blogged about 9/11 and I wasn't going to because I wasn't sure I could write it, but I can summarize it and it IS important to "never forget".

8 years ago we lived in Colorado Springs and it seemed as if our lives were falling apart right before our very eyes. We tried desperatly to hold onto things near and dear to us and they were slipping away, right through our fingers, right before our very eyes and there was little we could do about it.

We shared a very small house with Mormon missionaries, they had their own little part of the house- and no, we're not Mormon. It was just one of those "different" kind of living arrangements. We ended up loving the "boys" as we called them. We never converted but we we're so close to many of the "boys".

Tuesday, September 11th was not a normal day at our house, I was home sick and had just delivered the kids to school. I went home and turned on the ol' boob tube and was shocked to say the least. It was smoke and fire and pure chaos- you remember I just know you do. It took me a minute to process that this was happening in OUR country, MY America. I quickly called Mr. B. who was commuting to Denver at the time. When I reached him in his office, I told him. I told him about the horror, and do you want to know what he said to me? "Honey you must be watching a movie, or mistaken." I was a little perturbed to say the least. I said to him "Why don't you turn on a T.V. and call me back"

While I waited for him to call me back, I went to get the missionaries. I can remember just what I said "Bowman, I know your not allowed to watch TV during your mission but you HAVE to see this, you HAVE to know whats going on" We sat and watched the Television together, cried and waited for Mr. B. to call.

He called back horrified, I was crying, he was in shock. A co-workers daughter was in New York at the time touring and he was terrified for her. I told Mr. B. that I just wanted to go get the kids and lock us all in the house all day long, maybe forever. Just then they were evacuating all the tall buildings in Denver. The last thing he said to me was "GO! get them- bring them home, Im on my way".

I rushed to school where I checked my babies out in a line of silent parents, standing there with tear stained faces, in shock, not knowing what tomorrow held, only knowing we wanted our children and we wanted to be home. I was terrifed and numb.

There were days and days and days of numb terror, I didn't want to leave the house, I didn't ever want to take my kids to school, I didnt ever want to do anything but sit on my couch and sob for my country, for those who lost their lives and those who fought for freedom- I was petrified. It was hard for me to go out after that. It took some time for me to go out after that day, time for me to go to Denver near tall buildings, time for me to feel comfortable dropping my kids off at school again.

Time helps you to be able to get back to your life, but it never heals all wounds- it can't. Time isn't meant to erase, to forget, it's meants to give peace, to HELP heal.

9/11- Don't EVER forget, but do allow peace to creep into your heart.

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