tupid momma

We encourage our older kids to be careful what they say because our little ones are listening.  For some reason little ears ALWAYS hear and repeat the words we would like them not to. Often it happens like this-

Me- Oh wow! This house is a mess!  *looking around*  We better get this place cleaned up! Do you want to help momma clean up?

Kid5- Qween up!

Me- Let’s start with these dollies. These dollies are a mess. (Kid5 is eagerly helping pick up her mess and I am feeling like a great momma) Can you put your dollies back into their beds? Goodnight dollies, what fun we had with you today! What sweet little dollies you have Kid5.

Kid5- goodnight dowies. *gives them kisses*

Me- Good job Kid5! You ARE a big helper! Are you mommies little helper?

Kid5- I mommies hewlpew (helper)

Me-Lets get these animals picked up next, here’s a hippo, and can you put the hippo in his cage? Sweet little hippo! I bet he was a good boy today wasn’t he? I bet he helps his mommy too.

Kid5- Good boy hippo!

I talk and talk and talk, encouraging her to pick up, listen to mommy, what a sweet little thing. All of a sudden there is a turned upside down zebra laying on his freaking back all three thousand needle like legs straight up in the freaking air and my bare foot steps down on said zebra with no small amount of weight and I can’t hold back. It often goes like this-

Me- HOLY CRAP! WHAT THE FRICK AND FRACK WAS THAT? WERE YOU PLAYING WITH FREAKING NEEDLES? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? STUPID ZEBRA!

Kid5- TUPID ZEBWA!

One second..... wait..... one second, all the sweet goodnights, all the kind little words, all the mommies helper comments… and she picks up “TUPID ZEBWA?”

Awesome parenting moment for me.

FAIL