Monday, July 2, 2012

sewing, aspergers and beauty

Sewing camp has been so amazing for Kid4. I have loved watching her interact with a machine and create something. She has come home every day with a new creation and sewn for hours and hours at home. The amazing most beautiful thing is that she is learning a lifelong skill. These are the great parts of my sweet girl learning something new, creative and beautiful.

The hard things are that Kid4 has Aspergers and so often these little things, the little lessons, the lessons about a girl and a machine, a needle and a piece of fabric also involve people, interacting and having to read others emotions. Kid4 just can't do this easily. She struggles, she stresses, she cries and she loses sleep at night.

She was excited but nervous Monday and made a pillow and a pin cushion. She was more at ease Tuesday and learned to sew on a button. She had a day off Wednesday and sewed all day at home. Thursday…. didn't go so well. She worried about her legs, she smoothed and smoothed at her hair the whole drive. She scratched and looked distastefully at her limbs. She rang her hands in fear… and I knew it would be a hard day but I hoped for the best.

Her sewing teacher called at 1 and I could hear her crying in the background. Her teacher was saying "It's ok, it's going to be ok"… Kid4 had had enough. These are the hardest parts of Aspergers for her and the most heart wrenching for me. She is scared at the things you can't imagine being scared at. She is nervous about the things you can't imagine being nervous about and she is literally the most pure hearted, thoughtful and beautiful little girl I have ever met.

I believe that she is so pure hearted because she literally can't wrap her mind around being unkind. Maybe it's because she has Aspergers. Maybe it's because she is purely lovely. I'll never know, but I do know this; Kid4 is extraordinary, she is beautiful inside and out. Her heart is kind and I must be the luckiest mom in the world to have her.

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