Tonight Im thinking that raising kids is kind of like teaching them to ride bikes. There are 3 types- or at least in my house there are 3 types.
Type 1 you can never let go of or they WILL certainly fall, it seems they are always looking back for you. You know the ones that cling to you on the first day of school, the ones who hold on tightly, who aren't excited to spend the night with their friends? You know the ones who expect that you will always save them? Type 1 will break your heart because as you try to let go he will cling to you and if you let him hold on it will only hurt him in the end when it's time for him to be a grown up. Type 1 kids usually have a heart of gold.
Type 2 kids are always running ahead of you. As you try to hold onto the back of those bicycles they are riding away from you, you are running behind just to keep up trying to convince yourself that YOU are actually helping… but you know deep down that they are doing it themselves. Type 2 kids are so independent. They are bursting into the doors of school, eager to learn and begging to spend the night away from home. You cringe in pain worrying sick that something will happen to them because you can barely keep up to keep an eye on them. These little Type 2's will be the apple of your eye but my goodness it's hard to hold them back sometimes. They want to grow too fast!
Type 3 kids are okay with whatever happens. They will ride their bike if you want them too and if you are ready to help them, but they are fine to wait until YOU are ready. These kids will do whatever, whenever at your pace and you can finally breathe again. They will let you walk, run or skip behind the bike- HECK they'll let YOU ride the bike if you want too! Type 3 kids will go to school if you want them to and go with a smile, but they are happy to stay home too. My type 3 kid is secretly stubborn as a mule but is the light of my life. This kid has been a joy since he was born.
So far… my kids are repeating these patterns… we'll see what happens… It's an odd thing to watch kids grow. It's heart breaking, heart filling. It's wonderful, magical and horrible all at the same time.
Tonight my heart is breaking in two as I am having to teach some really hard lessons to one of my babies. I hope he understands one day how I love him. I hope he can forgive my parenting and know that being stern and strict is in his best interest. I hope he can truly know how I adore him, how I have lived for him and how I spent hours and hours praying over him as a small child. Now that he's grown he has to fly.
Good luck my baby… I'll always be your momma bird if you need me.