still gone

Oni boy, you will never be forgotten. 

RIP

Tears In Heaven lyrics
Songwriters: Clapton, Eric Patrick; Jennings, Will;

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?

I'll find my way
Through night and day
'Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven

Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please

Beyond the door
There's peace, I'm sure
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?

I must be strong
And carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

A year ago today

 ADOPTION! Elation! RELIEF!

SERIOUS car accident. FEAR. RELIEF. 

A day I would rather not repeat.

Happy Birthday Kid1

Dear BABY boy,

Today at 6:15 am YOU were born.

It was a Wednesday and I had been in the hospital for a few days already because I was dehydrated. Tuesday night the Dr. started the pitocin and the rest is history.

I can't believe you are TWENTY…

I love you more than I could ever say, in fact so much that I honestly can't say.

I am all mixed up with feelings, sad that you've grown so quickly, sick that I can't be with on this day and in awe of your awesomness…

I love you so much my very first baby.

Momma

time time time

Last night Mr. B said to me, "Do you realize that Kid1 is going to be turning TWENTY?" I laughed a little to myself because, OH, I realized! I have been agonizing over it for weeks now.  My baby, my BABY is going to turn TWENTY. I know I always say, "It just seems like yesterday…" but it does. I can still see myself pregnant with him, I can still remember the feeling of panic setting in when I realized he was actually going to come OUT of my body. I can still hear his little cry and feel his little soft hands. I can still see his little puffy face and dark blue eyes. I don't think I'll ever stop wondering how it all goes so fast, it just does...

                                                              this was 5 years ago...

I would say...

HAPPY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL Kid3!

but…

MY kid went to school with a totally bad attitude.

SEE this beautiful first day of school picture I got of him?

NO? You don't see it?

yeah….

Thats because I didn't get one.

The FIRST year EVER that I haven't gotten a picture of the first day of school.

NO OFFENSE but I don't really like 16 year old boys… :(

so….

UNhappy first day of school. I hope it's uneventful. (and by "uneventful", I mean I hope I don't get a call from the office saying "come get your bad kid")

Love,
Mom