on this farm...

I grew up here, playing, exploring, learning about the circle of life, cuddling baby piglets, kittens, bunnies and puppies. I spent my summers right there in that barn in hot sticky Oklahoma and loved every minute of it. My cousins, brother and I spent hours in the feed swimming in mounds of corn. We spent lazy summer afternoons laying in the pig pens watching the piglets nurse from their tired mommies and stole kisses from their teeny tiny perfectly pink snouts when they took a breath. We spent days and days running through the garden, gathering eggs and playing in mud. This place, this summer getaway was like heaven to us. It has aged, but so have we. There it stands still though, guarding my childhood memories like a soldier. I have always felt my memories were safe here at this barn, on this property under this red hot Oklahoma sun.

I love to bring my kids to this place. My Kid4 LOVES animals and was in heaven when she got to pet the new bull. She memorized his number so she could remember him better.

This picture is hanging on the "wall of fame" in my Grandfathers house. It hangs with the other family members and lets us see just how fast we grew. This picture seems like yesterday, I can still remember exactly everything about that day. Oh we have grown and changed. Isn't my sister a doll face? I treated her like my own personal little baby doll! She's still as cute as a button!

Here I am again…. "Two chins" in all her glory… I figure theres really no picture worse than the aquarium picture so I might as well share them all… OH DEAR- at least my second chin was smiling… ANYWHOOOO…. is my Grandpa cute or what? And NO! I do not have an antler growing out of my head… SHESH!

P.S. Happy Christmas Eve! I hope all your dreams come true!

the magnificent Dallas World Aquarium...

DALLAS WORLD AQUARIUM

Is there anything better than spending the day at an aquarium with your grandparents? There were fish GALORE, sharks like crazy, one VERY FAT alligator, terrific turtles, magnificent monkeys and many many more things. We spent ALL day gazing, discovering, appreciating and loving on my parents.

Kid4 spent SO MUCH of her day with her finger in the air saying "LOOK, LOOK at THIS Nana" or "what is this called?" My dad enjoyed reading every sign and I enjoyed watching her every expression as she discovered more and more animals she never knew existed.

The sweet manatee fell in love with my mom. He kept coming up to her face and bouncing off of the window. Are manatees the sweetest things in the world OR WHAT?! I was thinking I might want a manatee for Christmas…. hmmmmm…….?

And this my friends is the epitome of what all our family photos looked like this trip… my moms eyes closed, Chase looking perfect and me and my chin family… in fact, I am considering changing my name and going by my obvious Indian name- TWO chins- we'll see if it sticks?

This is how my tuckered out gooses day ended. She was exhausted, in fact she met Kid2 back at the hotel before we were finished at the aquarium and she napped. She was so exhausted from the excitement, the pointing, and the walking. She picked a darling purple turtle from the gift shop and it's been her sleeping partner ever since.

Yee HAW!

My friends,

We have done some serious traveling this week! The kids and I have been here there and everywhere doing a whole lot of this, that and the other… Our first stop was Dallas TEXAS! We met my parents downtown and visited the Dallas world aquarium. And can I just say- WOW! We had a great time, my parents brought Kid3 with them and it WAS SO AMAZING to hug him. I could have seriously stayed downtown Dallas the whole trip, but we were on to more adventures so it was 2 nights and 1 day in dazzling Dallas and onto Oklahoma and Missouri from here...

Are you wondering if things really ARE bigger in Texas? Yeah folks it's a true story everything but the eiffel tower is bigger in Texas!

travel brain

sometimes when I travel I have to remember to

A. Breathe

B. Eat healthier

C. Breathe

D. slow down

E. look at trees

F. listen to my children's laughter and stories

G. drink water

H. Breathe

I. rest

J. Did I say Breathe?

I miss my Mr. B and batgirl! See Y'all soon!

road trippin' before the holidays!

(this is how THESE two would like ride on EVERY road trip!)

We’re road trippin’ again! Are you shocked? I know YOU are!! (since I never travel)

The kids and I are meeting my parents in Dallas up pick up Kid3 and have a little Christmas with them. We are heading out on our little adventure about noon and Kid1 and I are going to drive straight through to Dallas tonight.

Kid4 is VERY excited to see her Grandparents- she is SUCH a Grandparents girl!

Our trip looks like this- Dallas Saturday, Oklahoma Sunday and Mt PERFECT on Monday and Tuesday! You KNOW how I LOVE Mt. Perfect! I am excited to put my arms around my Granddaddy and feel his scratchy kiss on my check. I am looking forward to driving those roads that are etched in my mind so deeply. Mt Perfect makes me feel home, makes me feels safe and reminds me that I DO have roots.

***********************************************************

We made it safely to Dallas and I am typing this from our hotel early this morning, I came downstairs to have a minute to myself before this day starts, you probably already know what it’s like to be in the car with 4 children ranging in ages from 18 to 6! If you don’t know what it feels like, I can hardly describe it. There are conversations ranging from the fastest car on the planet to what would be the best dress for our beloved baby Stella dolly.

We added another exciting adventure to this particular trip and we are SO excited! We are headed out of Mt Perfect on Tuesday and are going to visit my darling nieces in Missouri. I can’t tell you how much I love to be all stuffed up in my truck with the kids. The mountains of books, movies, pillows and blankets- THIS is the way I love to spend my days. All my chicks up under my wing, all buckled in and chatting away to each other and me…. Pure heaven.

Wish us luck on our travels and pray for good weather the whole way. And thank you my friends for reading my many adventures, I love sharing my life via with you!

oh what a night…..

“I HATE it when the right lane ends”…. These are the words from my baby’s mouth as he drives me and his sisters across the country to meet my parents and pick up our beloved Kid3…. As he chats on I want to throw up because it’s not AT ALL that he’s not a good driver… it’s VERY MUCH that I am a nervous Nellie.

I want to sleep.. Im tired but I just can’t. Partly because he is ME and chatting my ear off and partly because I am too nervous to sleep… will he drive off the road…? Will he text and drive? Will he try to reach a snack and kill us all? What if an armadillo runs out in front of us and he swerves…

He did great, but I didn’t sleep a wink because he said things like this to me ALL NIGHT…

“What if you receive a thousand dollar bill in the mail and it was postmarked Agent X, but you knew it was me… would you be worried or thankful for the money… ? “

“What if I told you that I was moving you out of the country because I had gotten mixed up in the cartel and I changed your name to Gloria shoesack…..? “

“MOM- what if you could pick anything you wanted to drive would you drive a Honda? Would you want a civic….? “

“MOM, what if I your car could drive 200 miles an hour, would you?”

“What if I become a spy and gauge my nose to I have a keen sense of smell?”

“Lets say the worlds about to end and Im the only one who could save it but I die…. BUT I manage to save it first, would you have a sense of pride knowing your son saved the world?”

DO ALL BOYS DO THIS?

wordy thoughts...

Sometimes I think I’ll absolutely die without him… I know I know... I always say the sheets, the vacuuming, and the reading to kids…. But its so much more and I don’t even have the words…

Sad

Lonely

Isolated

Unwanted

Unloved

Friendless

All I want to be is mad... mad that he is leaving. Will I be okay?

Safe

Secure

Shielded

Protected

??

Sure I will be. I WILL MAKE SURE I AM. I will lock my own doors, I will lock my own car, I will put myself to bed, turn out the lights and make sure my house is out of harms way…

I’ll be

Prudent

Attentive

Conservative

And secure.

But I won’t be unscathed, I won’t be unharmed, I won’t be protected by him. He’s always protected me… I’ll be alone in a way. (Minus lots of kids- thank GOD)

And the shocking news is that my son, my baby, the other only man whom I truly trust is also leaving. Im thinking….

Gut wrenching

Horrific

And

Distressing

to me.

There is not one single thing I can do about it. Any of it… I can’t change it, not one minute, not one day, not one thing. They are leaving me and I’m going to have to be independent.

Self-governing

Sovereign

And privatized….

And I’m not really all that good at it.

I’ll make it, I know that I will.

BUT

I

DON’T

WANT

TO

(Whining DOES help … right?)

not so beachy

Are you missing summer as much as we are?

It's REALLY cold in Georgia…

I love cold weather but WOW.

BUT

I have never

wanted

a

snuggie

as

much

as

I

have

these

past

few

days

PERIOD.

stay warm friends!

Happy Birthday to my Bat Girl...

Dear BFF for ever and ever and ever,

Happy Birthday to you! You are so much more than just my friend; you are my better half, the filing cabinet in my head, the color in my cheeks and the giggle in my heart! I can’t imagine a single day without you, a single minute of you not being in my life. There just isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. You are the best friend every one should have.

Trying to describe you to anyone is almost impossible. How do you tell someone that your best friend is an extension of yourself, someone who’s heart broke with mine when my nephew was killed, someone who stood by my side as I watched my Grammie suffer and never had to say a word because she knew exactly how I felt. How can I possibly explain to anyone else how if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t even be the person I am right now, I wouldn’t exist as I am? How do you tell another person who doesn’t have their own personal “Bat Girl” how you were just as excited as I was to meet Kid4 when she was born, that you waited all night for her and held her the second she was born? How can I explain it?

The fact that I don’t even have to explain to you how my heart is breaking that my oldest child is grown, how kid3 melts my heart away, how I think kid2 is the most amazing human on earth and how I couldn’t even take a breath without my Kid4 gives me a peace that surpasses understanding. The mere certainty that you are mine to love and rely on is an honor.

YOU my friend, my Bat Girl, My BFF make every day a WHOLE lot better, you make the sun shine brighter and you make life not only worth living but exciting , new and amazing.

I love you Bat Girl, Happy Birthday.

my girl and her Kid3

Me and my girl, Kid4, she is a doll face!

This was her and I waiting for Kid3 to get off the plane.

We COULD NOT wait to see our Kid3.

She is a BIG fan of kid3, she has missed him terribly while he has been away at school.

Most of her little school journals are about him, dropping him off, visiting him, looking forward to writing him letters. I have always said I loved the relationships between brothers and sisters. There is something so amazing about raising boys and girls together. I love it, I love every minute of it and am thrilled beyond words to have boys AND girls!